Hellsing

Hellsing

Alas it is Abraham Van Hellsing !!! No , Oh yeah, now is sir Integra Hellsing. Wait !! When did the Hellsing family become Protestant. If I remember correctly...uhh... wasn't Van Hellsing Jewish. Bram Stoker made a hundred allusions to Van Hellsing being Jewish. For example, he is from Poland (all the intellectuals where Jewish). He acts like such... always butting in...Being far too aware that all religions are based on superstition. And the Abraham name...Is that really a regular protestant polish name... Frankly people. Sir Integra was supposed to be Jewish. I do not know why the vampires obsess so much about England. I suppose that all the past English Gothic writers had to kiss up to her royal highness. People forget that vampires emigrated from Mongolia. The vampire concept was brought into Europe by the Tartars. Dracula claims to be of the lineage of Atila the Hun.So why not Chinese vampires in the show??

Oh and did you know that Alucard's old man, Dracula, liked a lot a man named Johnathan. In one scene, he told the vampire chicks that he would love him... Love him people and then he let the girls love him after he was done. He said nothing about munching on his neck. I do not know about you, but there is something queer about what the father of Alucard. He almost sounds like the mother of all vampires. nyak nya!! WellI have nothing against those kinds of folks. Dracula can do whatever he wants with his body. I will not judge him by the man he chooses to love. nyak nayk.

This Show claims to follow the old vampire tradition so why can't Alucard summon bugs or spiders. Or alter the weather. Oh and the original Dracula had an army of wolves. And he could turn to mist. Oh and why can Alucard waltz around town without an invitation? And he was active in the morning. The morning! Does he not sleep at all? Is all wrong and male centered.

I will have you know that the vampire Carmilla could use the power of teleportation and she could turn into a cheetah. A cheetah, ladies and gentlemen. And who are the strong maidens in Hellsing? The he-she Police woman and the weird eye nazi vampire. Honestly, people !! I am outrage. Only girls that sacrificed their feminine side where consider strong in this show.

It is Funny. In the first part, I found the show not violent enough.In the 2nd part, it was too bloody. But then I realized that what the second part lacks is musicality. All I want is to have Alucard dance the macarena while he cuts the head of some poor human that happened to glare at him.

From Hellsing to Hellsing Ultimate

Hellsing Ultimate follows more closely the original graphic novel of Hellsing. There are many crude scenes that where edited out in the first version that where reintroduced in the second version. For example, they edit out the part where the priest vampire is raping Ceres in order to make certain that he does not create another vampire. Apparently, only virgins have the power to turn into one.Where did this idea developed is beyond my perspective.

Another thing they removed is the cigar of Sir Integra. I never seen a blonde chick smoke so much in my life. Well in the 19th century cigars or pipes where a sign of one's social class. So they made her smoke a cigar in order to emphasis the fact that she is from the elite caste. Another thing they edited out was the epic battle against Hitler's army of vampires. From all battles this one was the weirdest.

Alucard

I truly do sometimes wonder if Alucard just sits under ground waiting for his chance to pound on someone. Most people would be inclined to think so but I have proof that he is much more modern than one imagines. For example, he booked a flight to Brazil and behaved in a normal fashion (for the most part) while visiting. I think he took it a bit over board when he butchered the Brazilian police for standing on his way.

Other signs of modernity that appear is the amassing fact that Alucard can use a telephone. In the first part he communicated with Sir Integra trough telepathy. I guess she taught him to use a phone when she notice that his mind powers had a range problem. This became apparent when he was not able to come to her aid after Incognito kept him busy while a chick vampire raped Sir Integra.

Other incredible signs of Alucard's modernity is the fact that he can pilot an airplane. A He used it to board the Nazi war ship that was heading toward England. In a weird way this is a weird metaphor for World War 2... It seems... Also he was able to command alone the ship in order to get it back home because he cannot swim for some bizarre reason.

Something about the manner of Alucard  gives me the impression that he does not like killing. In Hellsing Ultimate, Alucard called Sir Integra after the police officer killed himself after seeing Alucard. He wanted to reassure himself that his actions where in the end Sir Integra's fault. Thus, he once again he quiet down his dead consciousness.

On the surface he might appear to enjoy it, but overall he goes by all battle in a mellow lazy doggish sort of way. It is as if he is saying," another weakling to trounce" or "how dull". The only time that he seemed alive was when he fought Incognito. In that battle Alucard was able to use his full strength against a real opponent. It sorta makes one wonder just how in the hell did Van Hellsing manage to subdue such a beast. Truly, it is food for though... but alas it is all but fiction.