Two and a Half Men 5 Stars Worthy Sitcom

Two and a Half Men 5 Stars Worthy Sitcom

I decided to do a proper review for Two and a Half Men. I have been sorta putting it off till doomsday. You could almost say I have been having a lazy streak. I suppose it cannot be helped. To be honest, the first time that I saw the Two and a Half Men sitcom, I thought it was a very stupid show. Then again, my family has a strong aversion to seeing TV shows and movies in English. Eventually, the show got translated. Even then, we refused to watch it. My family took an interest in the Two and a Half Men show one fateful day. It was the day that Charlie Sheen went rampaging nuts. The TV guys said that many things that happened in the show was based off the life of Charlie Sheen, who played the character Charlie Harper. This sole statement sold the Two and a Half Men show to my family. Now, we watch it every day in Channel 11, from 7 PM to 8 PM.

Sometime passed, and eventually, Charlie Sheen was fired from the show due to his immorality. I think that was a bit stuck up on the producer's side. It is foolish to imagine that the character Charlie Harper is a positive role model. Heck that was part of the joke of that sitcom. Eventually, he was replaced by Ashton Kutcher. Ever since he came on screen, I stopped watching the show. I only watch the Charlie Sheen episodes. The moment that Kutcher shows up I change the Channel. From my little side research, I learned what happened in the show. Basically, Charlie died in a train accident and now lives in hell. 

Frankly, I think that was very cheesy and moralistic. Drinking and womanizing are vices not crimes. There are a lot of worse handsome devils out there in the universe. Many of them are glorified as heroes. Killing is bad. Drinking and Womanizing is no big deal. Its not as if Charlie Sheen or Charlie Harper ever raped or killed anyone. All those maidens came to him of their own free will. If you ask me, I see him as a Modern Day Don Juan. Then again, that too was a moralistic play. Things stop being fun when you put republican morals in the middle.

To be honest, I envy the life of the character Charlie. I wish I could write a few lines and then be tons rich. With that kind of money I could finally do what I like doing best: Nothing at all!! In Cuba we have a saying; the good is not the one who helps, but the one that does no evil. What I am basically saying, is that Charlie Harper is a good character because he did no evil. His main problem is that he does not know how to deal with his problems.

Another thing that got Charlie Sheen in a blender was his treatment of women. I really did not see what was wrong. Why should you force yourself to care about someone who loves you? This is America people!! We each have a right to use our bodies as one sees fit; for better, or for worse. As long as we do not threaten someone's life and limb. Many feminist argue that the Charlie Harper  character and Charlie Sheen himself are misogynist. Interesting enough, the writers tackled that issue in a Two and Half Men Episode. However, as Alan puts it, "how much self-respect can those women have if they are going out with you" (You is Charlie).

No one in this show was forced to go out with anyone. They were lured by Charlie's beach house and his loose way with money. Those women were in it for the riches. Charlie was in it for the sex. It is foolishness for women to imagine that they can change men like that. Frankly, men don't change and women should not change for men. We should all be happy with what we got. Then again, as experience has taught me, most womanist (or hyper feminist) have hardly anything to work with. 

I miss the old days when it was up to the men to impress women, not the other way around. What is going on today is unnatural? Everything now is plastic surgery and walking model corpses. The feminist maidens critique the Two and Half Men show because they say the women there are not realistic. Those chicks should wake up to reality. There are plenty of women like the ones that show up in the Two and a Half Men. However, they are so caught up in their ideology that they do not see the truth.

In Malibu, maidens are into looking like fashion models. It’s how they try to lure in rich guys like Charlie. Seriously, you feminist imagine that all women want to work? Hell no!! If it was up to me, I would be loafing off till doomsday. Working is a choice not an obligation of women. You have been so focused on being treated like men that you become the very thing you hated. You cannot change men, and men cannot change women. It’s about time both parties gave up on that fool’s errand. 

Well, enough with stupid critiques of a group that I have little to no respect for. I like Two and a Half Men because it’s funny, because it’s true. Let’s discuss some of the realism in this amassing sitcom. Like we all know, the Two and a Half Men show is about an odd family. Alan moved in with his brother Charlie after his wife, Judith, divorced him. Now she spends her leisure hours bleeding him for all he is worth. What is funny about Judith is that she is named after the biblical Character Judith. You remember her, she was the chick who decapitated Holofernes while he slept.

I heard of one of Mama's friends who is like Alan. His wife divorced him and does not let him have a moment of peace. There are many twisted and deprave women like that. However, one rarely sees their kind being critiqued. Alan may have been neurotic, however, that is no reason to bother him after he has been cut loose. The same can be applied to all good divorce men in general. There is no need to take things overboard when the husband was a good chibi. Now, if he was bad, that is a different story in it of itself. 

Time and time again, Judith, critiques Alan for slowly becoming like his brother. Her rebukes were most vehement when Kandi came into the picture. Aw... sweet Kandi! She was a good chibi. Judith first met the girl when she was dropping off her kid with her ex-husband. If I remember correctly Kandi and Alan were playing a sex game. Alan was a Catholic priests and she was his sinful student. Such games became quite popular in the US ever since the Catholic Priest sex scandals. In any case, Judith was very angry at Alan because of Kandi. 

However, she was more annoyed at Alan because he was able to get a girl younger, than herself. Kandi was the living reminder that her internal clock was ticking. Judith was no saint herself. After all, she married Jake’s pediatrician. She still had the nerve to critique Alan for dating the mother of his son’s best friend. Yeah, that Judith represents the kind of divorce evil chick who is mean without a cause. The irony is that she left her husband because he was a control freak. When all was set and done, it was Judith who was the true control freak.

Another interesting character of Two and a Half Men is Charlie and Alan’s mother, Evelyn (Holland Taylor). I am pretty certain that she is a maiden that you feminist would admire. However, if you look at her closely, she is Charlie in a pink dress. Like mother, like son. She was the one who made Charlie into the man he is today.  Well, into the man he was. The producers did kill Charlie Harper in a train accident. This devil of a lady does anything to climb the social ladder. She is always reminding Alan and Charlie of their ungratefulness.  She also represents modern day women. You know the kind that uses their sex to become filthy rich. She represents what Charlie’s angels will become in their old age. hehehehe….  

Now, let’s analyze Rose (Melanie Lynskey) of Two and a Half Men. She was Charlie Harper’s Stalker. She represents the kind of women that does not take no for an answer. I found it cute how she used her physiology skills to get Charlie to like her. Much to her chagrin, he always returned to his old ways.  She was at her best during the Manny Quinn episodes. She had a Mannequin pretend to be her husband to make Charlie jealous. Like most Don Juans, Charlie finds married women very attractive. You know,  married women are like the forbidden fruit. If anything, humans love what is forbidden.

In many episodes of Two and a Half Men, Charlie Harper got in trouble for sleeping with married women. Well, back to Rose. It took Charlie a while to discover Manny’s true identity. In another time, Rose pretended to go to London. She started following Charlie while wearing different disguises. She did it in such a way that he would imagine that he missed Rose because he saw her in the faces of many random women. Truly, that was quite the witty scenario. She was such a fun chibi.

In another episode, she started to dating Alan. She liked him, until he decided to put down some ground rules. He told her that she had to respect his personal space. As revenge, she crazy glued his toy car to his member. Oh yeah, she likes that crazy glue a lot. She used to use it a lot on Charlie Harper before she got creative. You know, when she began to use her psychological skills on Charlie. In the photo above, she is telling Alan that she does not like that new side of his. That was the beginning of the end of their short lived romantic relationship.

Last, and certainly not the least, we have Jake (or Angus Jones). He is the Half a Man of the Two and Half Men show. I have already written about him. I thought I would mention him again in this Two and Half Men rating. It seems he has retracted from his pious statement. I knew he would come crawling back to the dark side. It is too sweet a deal to earn 350,000 bucks per episode. Man; that is a lot of money. I remember that in some episodes, he would only have one line. Can you imagine earning so much money for a single line? I think that little video was a promo for the Church he belongs to. I have seen many doomsday churches of the kind. They usually disperse every time they fail to predict doomsday. This church is now relying on the Mayans Calendar. 

I thought that it was really nice that Charlie Sheen offered him a job in his Anger Management show. It’s such a pity that people do not appreciate Charlie Sheen’s kindness. I remember that he donates lots of money to charity. Sure, he can discount that money from his taxes, but it’s the gesture that counts. Think about it, instead of having Uncle Sam use his money to make war, he donates it to charitable organization. That speaks a lot of his character. The sad part is that people always focus too much on what they consider a negative. He is not so bad. At least, he does not eat babies (that is another infamous Cuban saying). 

It’s funny, I was going to write about Jake and I ended up taking about Charlie Sheen. Frankly, I like the kid a lot more back when he was small. His teenage phase is no fun at all. Then again, I never had patience for teenagers (even back when I was a teenager myself). Then again, I never had patience for anyone in general.  His entrance into adulthood in the show was always leaning more into becoming like Charlie Harper. 

On second thought, I want to mention some of Charlie Harper’s women. My favorite from the Two and a Half Men show was the witch. She wanted to usher in the second coming of Gilgamesh. It’s hilarious that she was put in check by Evelyn. An evil witch like her was afraid of Charlie Harper’s mother. Who can blame her? That Evelyn is one scary lady.

Another one that was hilarious was a lady that behaved like Evelyn.  She even had two kids whom she treated the same way Evelyn treated her kids. In that episode, Alan and Rose gave Charlie a copy of Oedipus Rex. In the end, he decided to sleep with the chick, that was like his mother, anyway seeing as though he was going to hell. 

There were more notorious chicks worth mentioning. However, those two examples are the only ones that come to mind. Overall, the old episodes of Two and a Half Men are the only ones worth watching. I have a strong aversion to the new guy, Ashton Kutcher. I think he is a bastard considering what he did to his ex-wife, Demi More. He used her to rise; when he did not need her anymore he divorced the chick. He tweaked his twitter account to keep all his followers from unsubscribing to him.  Thanks to his black Hack trick, he was the first person in twitter to have more than 1,000,000 followers. Once you follow Kutcher, you follow him for life. There is also the matter of his pocket change donation to fight malaria. You need more than 100,000 bucks to cure that disease. There is also the issue with the Village Voice. 

Eh, frankly, I am just talking out of behind. I only got half the info on this brat from Wikipidia. He is among the list of actors whose names are not worth remembering. Now, Charlie Sheen!! That is a name we can all dance to. If I remember correctly, there is a cult of Charlie Sheen in FIU. It’s just a bunch of piano playing womanizer brats who dress like Charlie Harper. Ah! People are freaks! Why can’t we give love, give love… I think that is enough of Queens for the time being. In any case, Two and a Half Men is a 5 star worthy sitcom. It is one of the few sitcoms that I watched on a regular basis. Phi Stars recommends it to all men and women who are not judgmental; who have a sense of humor or two.  

I was just remember something. In the anger Management promotional ad, they were showing Charlie Sheen as a train wreck. I realize now that they alluded to the train because they had killed his character in a Train Accident. Oh wait, I forgot to mention Bertha. She was quite the hilarious character. In the early episodes, she left the place because Alan was being a controlling, neurotic freak. He went to look for her at Steven Tyler's house. 

I liked how in one episode she had the brothers fight in order to move in to Charlie's guest room. I think in one episode, Alan was in love with Bertha's pregnant daughter. He had a fetish for pregnant chicks. The one I liked best was the Oedipus Rex episode follow up. Charlie's woman did not like Bertha's insubordination. Bertha hated the chick's guts. Thus, he had Bertha clean his house when his lover girl was not around. Ah, its fun to remember. Yeah, there are plenty of Machiavellian housekeepers like her out there in the universe. In any case, she too is a 5 stars worthy character. Once again, I must tell you that Two and Half Men is a 5 stars worthy sitcom.

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