Much Ado about the "Dali" Llama
http://phistars.blogspot.com/2011/11/much-ado-about-dali-llama.html
Much Ado about the "Dali" Llama
I bet you thought I was gonna write to you about the spiritual leader of Tibet. But no... I am writing about llamas. I wanted to write about Tibetan llamas but its too bad that llamas are endemic to South America. Oh well, the joke is spoiled. In any case, I am gonna stuff you full of llamas.
I was feeling kinda random today so I collected roughly 50 llama pictures. Llamas (apparently) are super popular. Lets see, the reason why I thought llamas could possibly exist in Tibet is because of a weird story I read like 500 years ago.
I forget what the story was about. In any case, the story featured a llama with a lil kid on their quest to see baby Jesus. I sorta figured that if a llama could live in the Sahara desert it would have not trouble with the himalayas mountains of Tibet.
Following that logic I created this blog. In any case, this is a perfect example of a fallacy of logic. So yeah, unto the llamas. Llamas are really random looking. They are famous for spitting or running around. Some folks like to have them jump around as if they were puppies. I think there is a llama farm somewhere in the US. I saw their webpage that sold llamas.
The first time that the western world heard of llamas was in Candide. Candide received 30 red llamas from the king in El Dorado. These llamas were misrepresented in this story (none of them survive the trip out of El Dorado). Voltaire treated them like regular sheep. However, llamas are good mountain climbers. A simple hike is a breeze.
In any case, there are llamas and alpacas. Frankly, I can't tell the difference. From what I heard, alpacas are domesticated camellids. Let me explains, camellids are to llamas as feline is to cats and tigers. In any case, a llama is a subspecies of the camellids.
I don't think its impossible for llamas to be domesticated. I seen llamas ridding cars (1st picture) or serving has horses (2nd pictures). Both were pretty old photos, so its not some bizarre machination of a modern photoshop master. so as you can see, llamas are affable lil creatures.
Man!! This is gonna take forever. I am not certain I will be able to stuff this blog full of llama facts. If it comes to it, I am gonna make up fun llama anecdotes. Lets just hope it does not come to that!!
So lets see, the real difference between a llama and an alpaca is that a llama is a beast of burden. However, an alpaca is another option for those that wanna make some wool.
Lets see, baby clothing uses alpaca wool. Also Peruvian natives use alpaca wool for their ponchos. If I "remember" correctly, Alpacas are endemic to Peru. For those that do not know (or care), endemic means native to or restricted to a certain area. I know its kinda stupid to tell you what endemic means but you can never be too careful with the whole fancy, pansy complicated "V-O-C-A-B-U-L-A-R-Y".
Let see, alpacas are ruled by an alpha male and their young. They are the ones that spit at us. Also... oh wait, this was a llama blog. Silly me, forgetting the main topic of this blog. But to be honest I am just stalling for time. I do so hate to waste good llama pictures.
So, my chibis, 5 stars for whoever can sort out the alpacas from the llamas. This one is a llama. Now its your turn... Ah... you don't wanna play llama or alpaca? Your no fun at all.
So yeah, Llamas have one baby at a time. Males mate at the age of 3 while females are good to go at the age of 1. It seems to me that most female animals are good to go earlier than males. After all, human girls enter puberty before boys.
Lets see, what else is there to be said about llamas. Their babies are called crias. Mama llamas usually give birth to them at noon. They choose this time cause the warm sun increases the survival ratio of the crias.
These babies are up and amount after an hour of birth. Female llamas also spit like the alpacas. They usually spit at the male llamas when they do not want to mate. Such spit works every time (heck human girls should try it on perverts). Hahahaha!!
Some farmers use llamas as guard dogs. Usually, only one castrated male llama per flock. If there is two male llamas they tend to be all buddy and thus, they ignore their sheep.
Lets see, what else is missing. Ah! llama history. Lets see, the powerful bureaucratic Inca empire used llamas as beast of burden. They served as inspiration for El Dorado. Since the Incans lacked horses llamas served as transportation.
When Cortez came, llamas were them used in the mining industries. Like in Candide, these llamas daily transported hundreds and thousands of pounds of gold. Their load bearing role has not changed much. Hey, I wonder if llamas are smelly creatures. I was never much of a horse person cause I could smell them from a mile away. Are llamas smelly creatures too?
Ok...only half way done. A this rate I am gonna have to go into the cat protocol. You know the "how bout this llama? This is cute llama cute. Yeah, its 5 star worthy" Uh get what I mean?
Oh...well, above we can see a llama overlooking Machu Picchu. Machu Picchu is known as the lost city of the Inca empire. Originally, this site was gonna be a fancy getaway palace for the Inca rulers. However, around the 1400s a civil war began.
The site remained forgotten and incomplete. Mostly because Pizarro beat the living #$%$# out of those who know of the existence of Machu Picchu. Thus, the knowledge of the hidden location of Machu Picchu remained hidden from the western eyes.
It was rediscovered around 1900s. The fact that it remained hidden for so long helped preserve all its cultural artifacts. Had it been discovered during the Conquistador era it would have been completely plundered. So yeah, llamas still roam the general area. I guess a lot of them had been transported to Machu Picchu to help with the constructions.
In any case, have you noticed that llamas are a lot like dogs. I do not mean in the literal sense. Is just that they have a wide variety of color coatings. I think you can successfully breed a llama and an alpaca. What I mean by successfully is that their offspring do not come out sterile. That is usually the problem with horse x donkey. Their mula is always born as a sterile male.
I do wonder by the crossbreeding between llamas and alpacas. I mean lingers have the problem that they will not stop growing. They die young because of their interminable growth spurt causes heart defects. Then again all physical excesses always take a toll on one's heart.
Don't worry I am not gonna start lecturing you about eating right and veggies. That lifestyle is too freaking expensive. Plus, most the natural products in these country are grown through unnatural means. Heck, most of our crop goods are banned in Eco-friendly Europe. They say that our healthy goods are the most unhealthy in existence. Hahaha!! Which makes me wonder, why am I talking about veggies when you came here to talk about llamas.
Well, this blog is gonna be as long as bloody sin, so I have the luxury to go on tangents. Aw...Isn't this sweet. Mama llama kissing her cria. Llama mamas are such sweet creatures.
What do you think? Is this cat gonna scratch the alpaca or not? Look at those sharp lil claws. I think this is image is from an alpaca farm in the US. The vegetation in the background is quite common around south USA. Plus, the houses have a US style of architecture.
Another alpaca farm in the US. This alpaca looks pretty cute. I think its wool has recently been cut. In any any case, this cute photo is 5 star worthy.
Cute, a lil girl with a lil llama. Llama breeders warn about spoiling your llama. IF you are too friendly to them in their young age they start treating you like a llama. The problem is that since llamas are beast of burden having one as a doggie is not convenient in a business sense.
Overly, domesticated llamas tend to disobey and spit on humans. If they are to be used in labor power one has to keep some distance. Still, I wonder the Marry had a lil lamb might sound with a llama. Mary had a lil llama...eh, I think lamb works better cause it rhymes with snow. Plus, most llamas come in all sorts of colors. White llamas are a rare breed.
Aww...another cute cria picture. How strange, a white llama coming out of a red llama. Then again I am not too familiar with the whole llama Genetics.
I think those are above are alpacas. I think the main difference aside from the size is how furry alpacas get in the facial area. In any case, this alpaca is 5 star worthy.
Above we see a lovely cria. She looks so cute. 5 stars for this cria.
Now this is one angry llama. I bet its gonna spit any minute now <spit>. Ouch! That really hurt!! This llama got me in the eye. Negative infinity rating for this llama. Nah... 5 stars.
How sweet, two llama half brothers. I seen to have forgotten to inform you but llamas can only give birth to one baby llama at a time. Both do look adorable together. I think I see some humans behind them. This must be a petting zoo. In any case, 5 stars.
Neat, a baby drinking milk. Pretty cute, wouldn't you agree? I think llamas do not produce much milk at a time. Thus, the baby has to come eat often.
Eh...this is a bizarre photo. I guess these llamas can jump real high. Still, this photo never fails to amaze me. 5 stars.
This is one adorable sleeping llama. Its fur looks so soft and cuddly. Truly, this cutie is 5 star worthy.
The next photo shows a lil girl with a llama. She is a native Peruvia.The llama that she is showing us is a cria. This photo is 5 star worthy.
Another, native carrying a white baby llama. With this photo you can appreciate the size of llamas. A baby is this big, behind her owner I can see the mama llama. This photo is 5 star worthy.
Neat, another random llama. I think this is a wild llama based on how unkempt it looks. Verily, this llama is 5 star worthy.
What a cute lil girl. She has white flowers in her hair. I guess this is the Peruvian equivalent of Mary had a lil lamb. In any case, this girl has a lil llama that is 5 star worthy.
On our neck of the woods, we have two lil girls playing with a baby llama. The only difference is that this girl is treating this llama like a toy. Look at how she is poking its face. She should be careful, mama llama is glaring at her. In any case, this photo is 5 star worthy.
Cute... a llama farm. Here we see two boys petting a llama. This is quite the pretty 5 star photo.
This is a wild llama. Behind her you can see the wild mountainous terrain. I think there is a bit of mist in he background. Truly, it is a 5 star worthy photo.
Neat, a llama with some flamingos. I think flamingos are migratory birds. Either that or this is a Floridian llama (which I seriously doubt). In any case, this llama with the flamingos is 5 star worthy.
Another llama farm...5 stars.
Now this is one adorable lil photo. Here a lil girl is sitting next to a brownish colored cria. Both do seem to be getting along rather well. Just look at the eye to eye contact between these two. Then again, children always get along with one another. I guess this cria recognize the blonde girl as a child like himself. In any case, this photo is 5 star wothy.
Another pretty cria. These llama crias look pretty cute sitting down near daisies. It is truly another 5 star worthy photo.
The next photo shows a random llama looking straight at the viewer. Behind her I can see a typical US farm. In any case, this random llama is 5 star worthy.
Above we see two tourist taking a picture next to a girl and her llama. The llama does not seem to humored about all the attention. They hate hugs!! In any case, this lil group is 5 star worthy.
Oh yeah, know I remember!! Do you remember that weird movie about an emperor that gets turned into a llama? It was a Disney movie. The whole point is that Disney was observant enough to notice that the Incans lacked horses. Thus, Cusco turned into a llama and not a horse. Any case, here is a photo of two llamas. 5 stars.
Aw... isn't this llama a cutie? 5 stars for this cria.
Above we see two llamas going down a hill with their owners. If you noticed there is a lil cria between the two full grown llamas. 5 stars.
So yeah, if you had doubts about llamas being able to carry baggage here is a fine picture. I bet it must be real fun to ride a llama. Certainly it looks safer than a horse cart (for some odd reason). I doubt that you will get hurt badly if you fall of a llama cart. In any case, this llama is 5 star worthy.
The whole point of this llama blog is that sometimes your desire for something can backfire. One has to address things with a cool head or else you end up with a Dali Llama blog without any llamas from Tibet. God! It would have been such a brilliant joke.I know lets take some llamas to Tibet. Let them breed and multiply and then we finally have some Tibetan llamas. But that possibility is out of the question cause llamas do not have endemic enemies in Tibet. Then again, the Himalayan Yeti might grow accustomed to eating llamas. For those that do not know, the Himalayas spread as far as Tibet. In any case, one cannot let a joke carry one away into perdition. So yeah, for my next animal blog I am going to write about the Ganges shark. This one I know for certain is a true freshwater shark. Now, you will think twice about taking a dip in the Ganges river. Anyhow, tata and goodnight.
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